Descriptive Reflection (Formal Introductory Letter)

Subject: Self-introduction

Dear Professor Brad Blackstone,

My name is Jethro Lim Zhi Heng, a first-year mechanical design and manufacturing student, and I'm presently enrolled in your Critical Thinking and Communicating class. I am writing to introduce myself and share with you some goals I hope to achieve in this module.

During my secondary school days, I would always find myself dismantling old or spoiled electronic devices found at home as I was curious to see what was inside and was interested in finding the functions of each part. Ever since I had that pique of curiosity and interest, I embarked on my journey in the pursuit of engineering. I enrolled in higher nitec in Electronics Engineering, Institute of Technical Education to learn and gain an understanding of basic electronics systems. Furthermore, I wanted to gain a deeper understanding of engineering and broaden my perspective on how engineering and business are complimentary. So, I took a diploma in Engineering with Business in Nanyang Polytechnic (NYP). Through my course in Poly, I have a keen interest in creating and designing 3D models and decided to further my studies in SIT.

I am more of a listener than a talker, that would be one of my communication strengths. I often tend to put myself in other people’s shoes and try to understand from their perspective when conversing with peers or in a small group. However, I feel uncomfortable speaking in front of large audiences as I have stage fright and tend to stutter during presentations.

The first goal that I would like to accomplish in this module is to overcome and refine public speaking. Having strong public speaking skills will be useful not only in university but in my career. My other goal is to obtain professional writing skills as it will help me to communicate effectively with my future stakeholders. I consider adaptability to be a unique skill of mine. Being able to adapt in different situations and group settings has brought me to where I am today. 

Thank you for your time and I am looking forward to learning from you and participating in class discussions.

Best regards,

Jethro Lim Zhi Heng

Comments

  1. Hannah YussoffJanuary 17, 2023 at 5:00 AM

    The content of the letter is clear and very organized. The example given is detailed and well-linked to the given brief. There are only a few grammatical errors and the overall language used is easy to understand.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jethro LimJanuary 26, 2023 at 3:21 AM

      Dear Hannah,
      Thank you for the valuable feedback, will work on the grammatical errors
      Cheers,
      Jethro

      Delete
  2. Jerome GohJanuary 17, 2023 at 6:57 AM

    Loved the content! Was there a particular event that made you realised your fear in presentation?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jethro LimJanuary 26, 2023 at 3:26 AM

      Dear Jerome,
      Thank you for taking the time to read my letter, will look into your comment and amend the letter!
      Cheers,
      Jethro

      Delete
  3. AqilJanuary 17, 2023 at 9:13 AM

    Dear Jethro,

    The content of the letter was great as you were able to present the objectives clearly. However, I would like to suggest a few changes to the language and sentence structures used such as :
    1) "I was curious to see what was inside and was interested in finding the functions of each part." to "I was curious to see the inside and was interested in exploring the functions of each part."

    2) "I am more of a listener than a talker, that would be one of my communication strengths." to "One of my communication strengths is being more of a listener than a talker"

    3) "I often tend to put myself in other people’s shoes and try to understand from their perspective when conversing with peers or in a small group" to "I often put myself in other’s shoes to try to understand their perspective when conversing with peers or in a small group."

    4) "However, I feel uncomfortable speaking in front of large audiences as I have stage fright and tend to stutter during presentations." to "However, two areas I would like to improve on is my stage fright I experience in front of large audiences and the tendency to stutter during presentations."

    5) "The first goal that I would like to accomplish in this module is to overcome and refine public speaking. Having strong public speaking skills will be useful not only in the university but in my career. My other goal is to obtain professional writing skills as it will help me to communicate effectively with my future stakeholders." to "The first goal I would like to accomplish in this module is to overcome and refine my public speaking skills. Having strong public speaking skills will be useful not just during university but throughout my career. My second goal would be to obtain professional writing skills as it will help me communicate effectively with future stakeholders."

    6) I would suggest shifting "I consider adaptability to be a unique skill of mine. Being able to adapt to different situations and group settings has brought me to where I am today." TO after the sentence
    "I often tend to put myself in other people’s shoes and try to understand from their perspective when conversing with peers or in a small group. " as an added-on trait of your strengths for that paragraph.

    All in all, thank you for taking the time to read my suggestions, I hope it would be of use to you, and great job on the letter.

    Cheers,

    Muhammad 'Aqil

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jethro LimJanuary 27, 2023 at 8:26 PM

      Dear Aqil,

      Thank you for your feedback, will make the necessary amends. Appreciate your honest comment

      Cheers,
      Jethro

      Delete
  4. Brad BlackstoneJanuary 26, 2023 at 6:37 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Brad BlackstoneJanuary 26, 2023 at 6:38 PM

    Dear Jethro,

    Thank you for the clear, well substantiated letter. It's interesting to us readers when you share that you've always been a 'thinking tinkerer,' a person inclined to take things apart to study their inner workings. That sharing then segues nicely into a review of your educational background and eventual "interest in creating and designing 3D models."

    You also give clear details in terms of the comm skills strength of having empathy and the weakness in terms of oral presenting, which is a common area of concern, one that we already have started focusing on. Please take all opportunities in class to speak as much as possible. A few other issues are:

    1. overuse of caps
    -- ...a first-year Mechanical Design and Manufacturing student.... > ?
    -- ...my journey in the pursuit of Engineering. > ?
    -- and so forth

    2. phrasing
    -- broaden my perspective on how engineering and business complements. > broaden my perspective on how engineering and business are complimentary.

    I see that Aqil has taken the opportunity to give you detailed feedback as well. I'm sure you appreciate that, as do I, but we have to recall that as writers we always have to make the final call as to what suggested changes we implement and which we ignore. I'm happy that the spirit of giving constructive criticism is alive and well in our class.

    I look forward to hearing more from you this term.

    Best wishes,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jethro LimFebruary 11, 2023 at 8:46 PM

      Dear Professor Blackstone,

      Thank you for taking the time to look into my introductory letter and the valuable feedback that you have given to me, I have amended the mistakes accordingly.

      Cheers,
      Jethro

      Delete

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